Being productive

I wrote a whole 600 word paragraph today, (more than I've done in the past month) and I'm feeling pretty good about it, also decided to try and do two weeks worth of washing in one go today...That ended badly with my bag slitting while walking back and me scrambling to pick it all up again. Serves me Right I suppose. only 4 weeks left of placement, this is a good thing as my mentor is slightly crazy due to her pregnantness and therefore at times a tad grumpy.

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Note to self must learn how to spell eczema because every time I do a booking interview i spell it wrong and look like a complete idiot. My mentor is quite quickly now pushing me to do things, I enjoyed it when I could sit in the corner, smile and think about whats for dinner. Where as now I actually have to use my brain, write, give advice and generally avoid looking like I'm panicking when I'm asked a question. I've decided that midwifery is acting. With every new lady that walks in with a baby you must act like it's the most exciting thing in the world. Which it is, for the first 1000 times you do it. After that every baby starts to look the same and you end up repeating the same advice you've already given about 50 times before. Don't get me wrong I enjoy it but it gets a bit repetitive at times. Bring on labour ward placement in the summer, I'm already getting excited for that now, but first back to the job in hand. Writing this essay...

Mid week already!

So Wednesday normally means a full booking clinic, so when I found out we only had 3 this afternoon I was reasonably pleased. I'm getting fairly good at them now and after the initial wobble during the first week I've managed to convince myself that I'm not too terrible at them, I'm taking longer but only because I'm talking more and it's nice to now be able to answer a few questions that I'm asked.

Yesterday was also a good day as I was able to give good breastfeeding support by myself with out much of my mentors help- I achieved this as an outcome so even more of a bonus confidence builder...
It's nice to feel like I'm slightly better at it but I'm definitely not learning a fast.

I must stop napping when I get home because then I don't sleep well at night, I tried to do a bit of work last night, however after 5 minutes had given up and decided Grey's Anatomy was much more exciting and fell asleep, only to be woken up by noisy flat mates at 11'o'clock, as you can imagine I sat and swore to myself in my room.

Good news on the essay front too! My plan was marked and my AA didn't seem all that concerned so I'm guessing that's a good thing... Onwards and upwards

Awaiting the imminent comedown soon.

Student Finance

Apparently it's that time of year again to sit around and spend hours calling random people and sitting on hold for hours. Fun. I remember how much of a pain in the ass this was this time last year. At this moment in time it is the last thing I'm worrying about.

Starting to miss my ginger puss now :( I'm sure he's missing me lots too...

5 weeks left of placement and I can't wait until it's over, I'm bored of being a grumpy, tired recluse who rarely leaves her room.

I worked with a different mentor on Friday and she was pretty good, I refreshed my memory a fair bit which is a bonus and it was nice to get a different perspective from someone different. I should really be back into the swing of things by now, but I would be lying if I said I was.

On the up side, I managed to sort out 2 posters- one on the active and physiological third stage of labour and the other on Vitamin K for babies. My to do list is looking slightly shorter, however I haven’t written a reflection since I started placement :-S EKK My bad!

Keep Calm

One step forward and two steps back

At the minute everyday I manage to get through is a bonus, came home a 5pm today got into bed and slept until 8pm for a little nap, I HATE GETTING UP EARLY!! At the moment I do feel like I'm failing and I'm finding it difficult to get back on my feet every time I do something wrong, I managed to do 4 booking interviews to day with a little help from my midwife and although that's good, it still isn't as good as I was last time and I've forgotten a lot of what I knew before.  I'm praying for a good day because I'm getting pretty bored of feeling crappy at the end of the day and then having to come home and do masses of reading... 

HMM Think positive thoughts!!!

Tired

Two days into placement and I want to quit, that's not a good sign.

If I wasn't so tired I would be okay but at the moment it's really difficult, I've forgotten a lot of what I learnt before in placement and now I'm having to play catch up on top of my essay, EBL, Parent craft presentation and read about a million guidelines, my mentor is pushing me fairly hard and I feel pretty shitty about it all really.

Never mind maybe another early night may make it all better...

Bring it on

Starting to feel slightly Schizophrenic, one day I'm feeling down, useless and generally in a foul moods and others when I'm feeling positive and feel like I'm really getting somewhere. I feel sorry for the people who have to live with me. Today was a good day, the presentation went well and all of us worked really well together even though it was all thrown together at last minute.


The time at Uni is over for now and now for the real hard work, Bring it on, I'm ready for 6 weeks of early mornings, late nights and very restricted diet of Greg's for breakfast, Nothing for lunch and then Maccy D's for dinner.


Time to put into practise everything I've learnt at Uni and to get out there and learn some more!


Even though everyday has its ups and downs being a student midwife is truly amazing and I know I'm lucky to be in this position!

Essay #2

Here I go again, only this time I won't get stressed about it, I've done it once I can do it again. Introduction in progress and feeling fairly positive about it, I've got the whole day to work on it so I'm not going to rush and it's not due in until the 27th of March so at the moment I figured any progress is good. :) Tomorrow is EBL presentation day and then next week it's back to early starts and placement begins all over again...

I'm getting excited again to start to put the things I've learnt into practise :)

:)

I must stop complaining

I must stop being so miserable, I'm so tired at the moment and with placement coming up that's not the best position to be in.

However I am determined to turn over a new leaf and go a whole week without moaning. My EBL group are doing our presentation on Friday so that will be one less thing to worry about, one down, one to go and one essay then that's it for term 2.
Kristie has got a list of reasons to be happy, what a brilliant idea! So I am currently working on my own for those regular down days that you get while on placement. I must say I'm 4 weeks in and I haven't had a proper midwife crisis and broken down in fits of tears in front of the cohort so I class that as a massive success!

Pass!

Thank you lord

A 56% was enough to get me what I needed and I can honestly say even though I wasn't top of the class I'm so pleased. A cock up with my placement signatures means that my grade for placement has been capped at 40% even though I was looking at a pass of around 70% I'm a bit gutted but relieved that it was the placement booklet that was capped and not the essay.

I have to say this midwifery roller coaster is getting significantly harder. I knew I would eventually come down after feeling so fantastic week last week.


Placement starts next week and a certain amount of nerves are getting in the way of me just going with the flow. I'm just trying to remember everything I learnt from last placement and to build on it.

Another thing that's really annoying the hell out of me is my sleep deprivation, I'd love to get into bed and switch off but alas there I am at three in the morning wondering whether it's the pulmonary trunk connecting to the Dutus Arterious and then aorta or is it the other way round? I've tried everything, counting sheep, getting up and wondering round but nothing seems to work, so I just lay there with a constant buzz of activity in my already full brain.

If I don't get some sleep soon I may go a little bit crazier and truly develop the brain of a Madwife. Yes I say Madwife and no it is not a spelling mistake. It’s what other health care professionals call us because believe it or not, you have to be slightly mental to become a midwife. In which case it looks like I'm well on my way...