Mountains to climb before the journey begins...

Another down day today.

It suddenly dawned on me that there is no way I can afford university :( I'm so stressed with it all. I've made the wrong decision when choosing my accommodation and now can't afford it. This means I'm now worried that there will be no spaces for me at other accommodation. I'm talking to all the new people starting and they all have parent's that are helping to support them. I'm afraid all the hard work and free hand outs that I have taken won't be enough. Money spoils everything! All I want is to be a good midwife and it seems that there are mountains to climb before I even get there. 8 days now and my nerves are building. I'm scared and excited all at the same time but there is still that niggling voice at the back of my head saying I can't afford it (which I can't).

I have packed most of my clothes into boxes and it is my leaving dinner at work tomorrow. I can't believe I'm going to be unemployed and can't remember the last time I was unemployed, it feels slightly worrying.

So at the moment all I'm worrying about it how it's all going to pan out. I'd love to be one of these people that can just deal with it when it happens and not worry about what to do next but I'm not the long and short of it is I'm a planner and an organiser and at the minute I have very little control of either.

I pray for some good luck soon !