Tired

Two days into placement and I want to quit, that's not a good sign.

If I wasn't so tired I would be okay but at the moment it's really difficult, I've forgotten a lot of what I learnt before in placement and now I'm having to play catch up on top of my essay, EBL, Parent craft presentation and read about a million guidelines, my mentor is pushing me fairly hard and I feel pretty shitty about it all really.

Never mind maybe another early night may make it all better...

Bring it on

Starting to feel slightly Schizophrenic, one day I'm feeling down, useless and generally in a foul moods and others when I'm feeling positive and feel like I'm really getting somewhere. I feel sorry for the people who have to live with me. Today was a good day, the presentation went well and all of us worked really well together even though it was all thrown together at last minute.


The time at Uni is over for now and now for the real hard work, Bring it on, I'm ready for 6 weeks of early mornings, late nights and very restricted diet of Greg's for breakfast, Nothing for lunch and then Maccy D's for dinner.


Time to put into practise everything I've learnt at Uni and to get out there and learn some more!


Even though everyday has its ups and downs being a student midwife is truly amazing and I know I'm lucky to be in this position!

Essay #2

Here I go again, only this time I won't get stressed about it, I've done it once I can do it again. Introduction in progress and feeling fairly positive about it, I've got the whole day to work on it so I'm not going to rush and it's not due in until the 27th of March so at the moment I figured any progress is good. :) Tomorrow is EBL presentation day and then next week it's back to early starts and placement begins all over again...

I'm getting excited again to start to put the things I've learnt into practise :)

:)

I must stop complaining

I must stop being so miserable, I'm so tired at the moment and with placement coming up that's not the best position to be in.

However I am determined to turn over a new leaf and go a whole week without moaning. My EBL group are doing our presentation on Friday so that will be one less thing to worry about, one down, one to go and one essay then that's it for term 2.
Kristie has got a list of reasons to be happy, what a brilliant idea! So I am currently working on my own for those regular down days that you get while on placement. I must say I'm 4 weeks in and I haven't had a proper midwife crisis and broken down in fits of tears in front of the cohort so I class that as a massive success!

Pass!

Thank you lord

A 56% was enough to get me what I needed and I can honestly say even though I wasn't top of the class I'm so pleased. A cock up with my placement signatures means that my grade for placement has been capped at 40% even though I was looking at a pass of around 70% I'm a bit gutted but relieved that it was the placement booklet that was capped and not the essay.

I have to say this midwifery roller coaster is getting significantly harder. I knew I would eventually come down after feeling so fantastic week last week.


Placement starts next week and a certain amount of nerves are getting in the way of me just going with the flow. I'm just trying to remember everything I learnt from last placement and to build on it.

Another thing that's really annoying the hell out of me is my sleep deprivation, I'd love to get into bed and switch off but alas there I am at three in the morning wondering whether it's the pulmonary trunk connecting to the Dutus Arterious and then aorta or is it the other way round? I've tried everything, counting sheep, getting up and wondering round but nothing seems to work, so I just lay there with a constant buzz of activity in my already full brain.

If I don't get some sleep soon I may go a little bit crazier and truly develop the brain of a Madwife. Yes I say Madwife and no it is not a spelling mistake. It’s what other health care professionals call us because believe it or not, you have to be slightly mental to become a midwife. In which case it looks like I'm well on my way...

Alice's Interpretation of flat 1

Starting from Alice on the left, Then Andy,Kirstie,Ben,Imy, Gandi, Myself, Ginger puss, Jack and Barnardo behind door E...

Really?

So I was sat in lectures today and it hit me...
I actually knew what the women stood at the front was talking about and from that moment on I was in a state of shock because for the past 5 months I've just sat at the back of the class normally praying that no one asked me any questions. Then BAM like a light bulb had flicked on and suddenly my brain had an idea about what was going on. I can feel me learning now and it's weird because i spent all of the first term in a blind panic and now it's just amazing when someone asks me something or the lecturer asks us to do some research I can go away, do it and sort of get it right.

AMAZING

Like I said whenever I start to get a bit comfortable something is just around the corner to knock me right back down again and with the ugly essay just around the corner I can only think the worst...
Please, Please, Please let me get a pass because if I don't the whole process of build myself  up again will have to start again...

Plan

I planned to do something today and it ended up being a fairly beneficial day as far as work goes. Managed to finish my EBL script and diagrams while eating pizza and faffing about with the other student midwives, I’ve discovered I'm a very social worker. I enjoy noise and bustle around me while I work. Chatter seems to help and it turns out sitting in a room with 6 other student midwives produces a large amount of chatter. I've also managed to finish the plan for my next essay so all together I'm feeling fairy proud of myself which means that something is right around the corner to bring back down to earth with a rather hard thud.
That rather large thud could come when I get the results for my essay on Monday, the fact I stressed about it, cried over it and put a lot of hard work into it means that I have a lot of emotional baggage attached to a pass or a fail. Just thinking about it puts a knot in my stomach so please everyone out there have your fingers crossed because I will have mine crossed.

Moving on, it seems that the whole cohort is flagging at the minute and the lecturer isn't as good as the one we had last term. The way she teaches is slightly different and unnerving because we are pretty much in charge of what we learn and how we learn. In one way that’s great and it turns out I’m quite creative when it comes to learning new things, I'm always finding new and different ways of learning. I can feel myself changing and becoming more in control of how I learn, wanting to learn is definitely a very different feeling rather than just being given information and forgetting about it almost instantly. Now I actually want to know more, it amazes me since I’ve never really been interested in anything from a school perspective. It's definitely very new to myself and something that takes some getting used to I feel I am learning but I often doubt the information that I use. The adult in me is telling me that this is how it should be done but the fresh from school teenager is running scared at the fact I have to do it all on my own. Thankfully many others on the course feel the same and we act as a very strong support group for each other. Us midwives may be a bit on the weird side but only because we are probably some of the most passionate people you’ll ever meet.

 Midwifery isn't just a career it's a way of life.

The student bible...Some of which are very true!

So what if Jesus turned water into wine...I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus...

1)Thou must follow the student bible

2)Thou must get absolutely hammered in Fresher’s week

3)Thou must participate and excel in drinking games

4)Thou must be honest when playing I have never

5)Thou must be extremely hungover for the whole of introduction week

6)Thou must not cook thy own food

7)Thou must avoid green food at any extent

8)Thou must live off take aways, beans, pasta and vitamin tablets

9)Thou must show no shame when going in to uni in your pyjamas

10)Thou must bring several trophies back from a night out, cones, chairs, tables, posters and a member of the opposite sex

11)Thou must not attend over 50% of lectures throughout the year as they are all online

12)Thou must take it in turns to carry each other home

13)Thou must be over friendly in Freshers week and then realise that you don’t even like half the people the next week….

14)Thou must have the biggest sound system in the block

15)Thou must wake up and start drinking the following day

16)Thou must excel at being a lad/ladette

17)Thou must NEVER shy away from a forfeit

18)Thou must streak on thy Varsity matches

19)Thou must take thy clothes off at any given opportunity

20)Thou must excel at Fifa

21)Thou must do the unusual on a night out

22)Thou must be the maddest bass in the club to show you are a true student

23)Thou shalt make a paper airplane out of any papers given to thou by lecturers

24)Thou shalt always abide by the laws of spillage is lickage

25)Thou shalt agree that if thou rememberest the night before, thou wasn't drunk enough

26)Thou shall complete thy work at the very last minute with references from Google because drinking should be thines top priority and work leaves no time for it.

27)Thou shalt always drink some alcoholic beverage (preferably a homemade concoction of lager, vodka and red bull) in lectures and seminars as a form of pre drinking. No exceptions even if you are (for some reason) in a morning lecture.

29)Thou must use words such as epic, lad and other student lingo

30)Thou shalt place bros before hoes and Lays before A's at all times.

32)Purchase Asda's own kentucky Brand Whiskey and own brand coca-cola to remind you that you once drank Jack Daniels and Coke.

33)Thou shall produce student cards in every possible situation to ensure maximum discount

34)Thou shall always obey the rules of shotgun, regardless of current situation.

35)Thou shalt only drink twice a year; when tis thine birthday and when tis not

36)Thou shall never under any circumstances attend lectures before 11am or after 12 noon.

37)Thou shalt use being drunk as an excuse for outrageous behavior.

38)Thou shall go out with a tenner and still wake up the next morning with no recollection of the night before

39)Thou shall not go to America but must be in some states

40)Thou shalt never be the designated driver

41)Thou shall obey the rule of quoting at least one Anchorman catchphrase with every drink poured.

42)Thou shall go out with £10 and awake the next morn with £41.25 with no recollection of how, why, where or what

“Mm, I love scotch. I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down. Down into my belly. Mm-mm-mm.”

43)Thou shall never refuse the dirty pint

44)Thou must refer to a shocking morning, afternoon and evening as a 'shorning', 'shafternoon' and a 'shevening'

45)Thou shall wear thy wellies in freshers week as thou will be knee deep in clunge.

46)Thou shall never pre drink, as thou should have never stopped drinking.

47)Thou shall always be up for jäger bombs

48)Thou must never decline a challenge once the words 'man up' hath been said

49)Thou shall never use the term " the walk of shame" but instead, "the stride of pride"

50)Thou shall never turn down any form of alcohol. Be it exam night or not.

52)Thou shall flirt shamelessly for a double vodka red bull

53)Thou shall NEVER refer to a fellow drinker as "drunk" or "wasted" as they have merely begun the absorption of critical banter fuel

54)Thou shall always refer to Primark as Primani to show that you appreciate student fashion

55)Thy shall NEVER throw away a Pot Noodle once it is done, for it is then, a cup

56)Thou must remember, if it seems like a terrible idea it must be done

57)Thou must take a break after writing the title of the assignment

58)Thou shalt always remember that alcohol left by someone else in thy house becomes thine own

59)Thou shalt not merely kiss and tell, but shall shag and shout.

60)Thou shalt practice the art of minesweeping when funds are low, and continue when funds are not low as practice for low fund times.

61)Thou shall always fulfill their moral duty and save the Queen whenever the penny is dropped

62)Thou shall partake in some form of 'man points' system

63)‎Thou shall only go out drinking on a weekday student night when in Preston, Manchester, or Liverpool for it is to dangerous and expensive on a Saturday.

64)Thou shalt get to uni and immediately open the vodka

65)Thou shalt count a bottle of cider as one of your five a day

66)Thou shalt not stop the party till the police walk in. Then thou shalt invite them to join in

67)Thou shalt walk home, rather than pay for taxi as this be waste of beer money

68)Thou shall spend half your loan on the first day on clothes and alcohol and definitely NOT on equipment for uni.

69)Thou shalt always see a passed out person as an object to be decorated

70)Thou shalt claim that thy mother and thy father "ruined my life" yet shalt rely on them for money, as thou has no job and is "too good" for thy dole.

71)Thou shall only attend lectures 20 minutes late and upon refusal of entry due to this lateness thou must remind the lecturer who is paying for who to be there.

72)Thou shall sneak vodka into clubs and add this holy spirit to the mixer which you purchase

73)Thou shall wear a hat in lectures when still drunk, because hats disguise all

74)Thou shall be a fearless wingman and push thine friend into the chick he likes while you take one for the team and keep her friend "preoccupied"

75)Thou glass is never half empty. If it is, thou should learn to take shots properly

76)Thou shalt never have a hangover for this means that drinking has stopped

77)Thou must save thy taxi money for more alcohol and take the ambulance home

78)Thou shalt erect a "Chunder Chart" and place it on thy wall in thy kitchen as if it were the mona lisa

79)Thou shall shout "bogey" in lecture and that bogey will be received by a louder "bogey", to which you will deploy a louder "bogey" this will continue until one or more boogers are expelled from the lecture hall at which point remaining boogers will chant "bogey, bogey" in protest for fellow boogers to be re-instated to their seats.

80)Thou shalt always remember that blood fucks up thy alcohol system.

81)Thou shall take advantage of every student discount going to allow for more spending on booze.

82)Thou shalt not commit sobriety

83)Thou shall always find amusement in cheering, applauding (and thus confusing) complete strangers for simply walking into a room or onto a bus

84)Whenst thou hearest 'Party Rock Anthem' thou must stoppeth what (or whom) thou is doing instantaneously... and shuffle.

85)Thou shall place unbearable peer pressure on those who fail to live in accordance with student bible! to show a duty of care

86)Thou shalt pay homage to the 2nd, 3rd and 4th year students, for the higher the year, the greater their experience of the university religion...and thou ist but a lowly fresher.

87)Thou shalt ask "do you do student discount" before every single purchase, even if its primark and thou already knows the answer

88)Thou see Orange Cone,Thou take it

89)And on the 3rd day, God created 'Student Discount' so that man could have a free cheeseburger with his Big Mac meal.

90)Thou shalt have no shame in finishing off half drunk beverages regardless of who they may belong too

91)Thou must eat a bonsai tree, to immediately become fun and interesting.

92)Thou must not give blood as thy blood is worth at least £40 worth of alcohol

93)Thou shalt always choose thines favourite bar based on the price of Jagerbombs and not on the quality of the establishment.

94)Thou must always perform a "Chunder Dragon" and shout "Chunnnndaaaa draaagoooon" whilst throwing up.

Chunder Dragon: While in the process of projectile chundering due to excessive alcohol consumption, flapping your arms up and down so that you look like a dragon.

The Student Prayer

Our Students in thy Union,
hallowed be your alcohol.
Your hangover to come,
your heads will be done,
on student discounts as it is in Costco.
Give us this day without a hangover,
Mum and Dad forgive us for our student debts,
as we also have forgiven our drunk friends.
And lead us not into a full time job,
but deliver us from the Job Centre."

I think I get it.

So after my weekend of doing absolutely nothing I was able to finish early and try and catch up on a bit of work that I had neglected. Turns out it's been quite productive, I've managed to finish off my A & P on the breast and also do some drug calculation work. Not bad for an afternoon, It's nice to be able to do something and actually know what I'm doing.
Before I get to excited though I need to work out a plan for this article review, however I'm in a good mood and feel like a challenge so who knows I may be able to get my head around it. I get my feedback for my previous essay sometime next week if not definitely the week after and the feeling of the dreaded F is starting to dawn on me, if i don't pass it first time then I will just be adding a rather large extra pressure on an already busy to-do list.

Only time will tell, lets just hope I pass first time because I may have a nervous breakdown if I don't...

Back home again

Lots of things to do, little time to do it in... Placement is just around the corner and I must admit I'm a tad nervous about going back into placement, suddenly we're expected to know things and carry out checks. I have a whole book of outcomes and they're all scary ones. I'm happy that I'll be out of the class room though because it's boring me to death and I'm not learning anything at all. Lectures have become pretty much led by ourselves because our lecturer believes that we should really teach ourselves.
I think I've managed to get my head around fetal circulation and I'm almost able to remember it now which is always nice after trying to learn and remember it for about a week. I already feel like I need a rest and the term hasn't really started yet. Still very depressing.

Just try not to panic

So the work load is insane again and there is lots of things that need to be done and sorted before I go out on placement.

Highest on my list of worries at the moment is an article review. So far we've had no help and I pretty much have no clue about how to write one... The joy!
Plus trying to get my head around fetal circulation and attempting 2 EBL presentation. I'm afraid it's back to the sleepless nights of worry. Who says being a student midwife isn't fun hey!

Saw a funny picture today and thought I would share it with you all...

LOL

One week down

There goes another week, Christmas feels like it never happened and the work load went from nothing to about 6 different things to be looking at and working on. The healthy student diet has returned and I'm now on my third go at a Chinese take away.
The house business is nearly all sorted now and it's nice to tick that off my check list early. Not much to write about really, everything Ive been doing is pretty much self taught and it's actually becoming a bit easier. lectures mostly consist of Enquiry based learning which is basically where they tell us to buggar off and do it ourselves.

Good new though, I passed the poster presentation last term. I still haven't heard anything about my written piece of work, which is the bit I'm most worried about. Otherwise things are good and just a little bit stressful.

:)

House anyone?

So we've found a house for ourselves next year and suddenly a dark cloud has been lifted. The place is really nice, on a bus route and fairly close to uni so no complaints. I'm sharing with 6 other people and we signed on the dotted line today! Lucky enough us medical students get a 2 week head start on the rest of uni to find the best accommodation because come the 16th it will be mental.
Another amazing thing happened today...
Yes, One born every minute returned and everything in the world stopped for an hour while i sat glued to my most favourite programme on earth and then it struck me.

In two years that will be me!!

What a strange thought.

I'm Back and ready to go...To the pub!

Arrival back at uni was suprisingly nice, Seeing all my nurse/ ODP flatmates was definitely nice and as for you Alice...Were all truely jealous that you get a full month off! However, finding out that some of them had already started placement was a little bit funny (and mean).

I've come back to uni fairly fresh faced and with a mountain of food which should last me til christmas, so it's not all bad. I've got a house viewing tomorrow and lectures weren't too bad. So altogether it hasn't been a bad day really.

I've also now completed my wall masterpiece and all is well :)