Plan

I planned to do something today and it ended up being a fairly beneficial day as far as work goes. Managed to finish my EBL script and diagrams while eating pizza and faffing about with the other student midwives, I’ve discovered I'm a very social worker. I enjoy noise and bustle around me while I work. Chatter seems to help and it turns out sitting in a room with 6 other student midwives produces a large amount of chatter. I've also managed to finish the plan for my next essay so all together I'm feeling fairy proud of myself which means that something is right around the corner to bring back down to earth with a rather hard thud.
That rather large thud could come when I get the results for my essay on Monday, the fact I stressed about it, cried over it and put a lot of hard work into it means that I have a lot of emotional baggage attached to a pass or a fail. Just thinking about it puts a knot in my stomach so please everyone out there have your fingers crossed because I will have mine crossed.

Moving on, it seems that the whole cohort is flagging at the minute and the lecturer isn't as good as the one we had last term. The way she teaches is slightly different and unnerving because we are pretty much in charge of what we learn and how we learn. In one way that’s great and it turns out I’m quite creative when it comes to learning new things, I'm always finding new and different ways of learning. I can feel myself changing and becoming more in control of how I learn, wanting to learn is definitely a very different feeling rather than just being given information and forgetting about it almost instantly. Now I actually want to know more, it amazes me since I’ve never really been interested in anything from a school perspective. It's definitely very new to myself and something that takes some getting used to I feel I am learning but I often doubt the information that I use. The adult in me is telling me that this is how it should be done but the fresh from school teenager is running scared at the fact I have to do it all on my own. Thankfully many others on the course feel the same and we act as a very strong support group for each other. Us midwives may be a bit on the weird side but only because we are probably some of the most passionate people you’ll ever meet.

 Midwifery isn't just a career it's a way of life.